


Invisible Chains

by Blue_Night



Series: The Adventures of the Roman Legatus Marcus Retus and his Friends [9]
Category: Football RPF, Real Person Fiction, Rome
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ancient Rome, Alternate Universe - Historical, Anal Sex, Ancient Germania, Anger, Angst, Blow Jobs, Canon-Typical Violence, Dubious Consent, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Fights, Hate Sex, Humiliation, Hurt, Love/Hate, M/M, Non Happy Ending, Past Relationship(s), Regret, Rough Sex, Sorrow, Vomiting, non-consensual sex between former lovers, painful breakup, pulling ranks, roman culture, roman soldiers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2017-01-24
Packaged: 2018-09-19 05:54:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9421412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Night/pseuds/Blue_Night
Summary: Tribunus Marius Gordianus was sent to the fortified camp Mogontiacum in the nothern Roman province Germania superior because the former commander of this camp, Marcus Retus, left his garrison to conspire with the Teuton tribe of the Mattiacers. Marius and Marcus grew up together and have once been lovers, but Marcus left Marius alone in Syria three years ago to serve in Germania instead.What will happen when Marcus comes back to Mogontiacum to rescue the young chief Erik Marius has imprisoned to make Marcus come to him?





	1. The Ghosts of the Past

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write a dark Götzeus story with the focus on Mario for a rather long time, Merry Christmas was the first step in this direction, but lovely mariothellama asked me to give them a happy ending and so I had to search for another setting. Ancient Rome and Germania seemed to be very fitting for that.
> 
> Warning, this story is rather dark and contains non-consensual sex between my two Roman soldiers, and it definitely won't have a happy ending. It surely fits in in those ancient times and the era of ancient Rome and its culture, but if you're not comfortable with such topics or Mario for once not being portrayed as the helpless and lost Sunny-puppy like he is written most of the times, then please don't read this, because I won't accept any other hurtful and hateful comments under my stories.  
> The sex will only happen in chapter 2 and 3, but the story would have become too long with the needed introduction to make it a oneshot. 
> 
> My Marius might be the 'bad' guy in here, forcing Marcus to do what he wants him to do in exchange for Erik's freedom, but my characters are never only villains, and I hope that I managed to not let him appear as only a cruel person but as a haunted and wounded soul with deep emotions and yet also the strong and brave young man he surely is. Every one of us has a dark side, we only need to be pushed enough for it to come to the surface, and stories like this one belong to real life and should be written sometimes as well.
> 
> As always, your (thoughtful and not hurtful) feedback is what keeps me writing and posting for you, I hope that there are other readers craving for a Mario being written differently for once, and even though I will definitely post chapter 2, but my general decision whether or not I will keep writing for this fandom depends on your feedback to my stories your visible support in form of kudos and constructive comments, this one included.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marius has trapped Erik, the young chief of the Mattiacer living nearby the fortified Roman camp Mogontiacum, and he is waiting for his former lover, the legatus Marcus Retus to come and try to rescue Erik from Marius' wrath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to focus more on Marius' feelings for his first love Marcus he still struggles with instead of the happenings three years ago that led to their breakup. I'm not sure if I will include them in the next chapter, it will depend on how the next chapter will turn out to be.
> 
> I hope you will like this different version of Mario, I think the tough and merciless Roman officer suits him quite well.

Dusk still fell rather early over the proud fortified camp of Mogontiacum, even though spring had finally come to the most northern parts of the Roman empire, the thick, green forests of Germania superior; a land that seemed to wake up the ghosts of a past the young man with the dark brown eyes wanted to forget so badly and which still haunted him every day in his memories and every night in his dreams.

The new commander of the camp still struggled with the cold and the darkness of this hostile and dangerous country after having spent the last three years in Syria, a land where the warm gold sun warmed you even during the winter months, keeping the shadows of the cold and dark months at bay at least most of the times.

Tribunus Marius Gordianus hadn't wanted to come to Mogontiacum at all, hating this place with all the force of his youth, and his lips were pressed to a thin line of annoyance as he looked down at the parchments with the last reports he had gotten from Augusta Treverorum, the Roman city next to Mogontiacum.

The tribunus was very young for commanding such an important camp, his softly rounded, rosy cheeks and his boyish features betraying his youth and giving him the appearance of an innocent and harmless young man. But the second son of Senator Junius Gordianus had proved all those letting themselves be fooled by his looks that he was a tough and skilled warrior through and through, more than capable of commanding legions and experienced soldiers being much older than he himself was more than only once.

Marius had taken control of the camp the second he had dismounted his stomping, snow-white Arab Fulgur, knowing that the first minutes would be crucial for the success of his mission. The legionaries had been torn into two halves, one half sympathizing with the former commander of Mogontiacum and trying to understand what he had done - the one who had betrayed his loyal men and the entire Roman Empire that badly - while the other half longed to see the man they had adored and almost worshiped defeated and dead.

The man Marius himself would once have died for without blinking. The man Marius had once loved with the same force he hated him now.

The young tribunus with the short brown hair and the dark brown eyes huffed an annoyed sigh, leaning back in his chair and staring at the wall opposite his seat, watching the shadows the torches threw over the whitewash dance around as if they were living creatures – mysterious and dangerous shapeshifters that crawled out of their hiding places when the night began.

Marius Gordianus stared at the wall until his vision blurred from the effort, his jaw settled into a tight and grim expression. He knew what he was waiting for and that he only needed to be patient, a virtue that came almost naturally with serving in the emperor's legions if one only stayed alive for long enough.

Marius had stayed alive, and he was determined to survive his time in Germania as well, to return to his beloved Rome one day and let the warm, golden Roman sun caress his face again. He directed his gaze at the single small window of his office, where he could see the stars blinking in the nightly sky because he hadn't bothered to close the shutters when the sun had gone down. Marius didn't mind the cold that seeped through the square opening as much as most of his legionaries did, he even welcomed it because it helped him to stay awake and keep his mind clear and focused.

His fingers absentmindedly played with the pencil as he continued to stare out of the window, letting his thoughts wander back to the visit he had payed his most important prisoner a couple of hours ago.

 

***

 

_The young Teuton was of the same tall height as most of the Teutons Marius Gordianus had seen so far were, this was clear to see even in the kneeling position the Mattiacer had been forced into by the two bulky guards._

_Marius hadn't ordered them to push the Teuton down on his knees, he was self-confident enough to not bother about having to look up at a taller man, which happened only now and then because he was as tall as most Romans were, smaller than most of the Celts or Teutons, but taller than all of the other nations the Roman Empire had conquered like the Egyptians or Syrians and whom he had dealt with before coming to Mogontiacum._

_The Mattiacer might be of the same age as Marius was, and the tribunus leaned against the wall next to the only exit of the prison cell, folding his broadly built arms across his chest to consider his prisoner thoughtfully. The silver bracelets he wore around his wrists as both – protection and jewelry – shimmered in the light of the two torches lighting up the dark corridor behind his back, and his bracelets made clinking sounds when they brushed over the metal of the breastplate of his armor. Marius had gotten used to always wear his armor even when he was within the strong walls of the camp, better be safe than sorry, Marius had learned this lesson the hard way at a rather young age._

_His prisoner stared up at him with an impassive mask, only his surprisingly beautiful hazel-green eyes glowing with the hate for his captor – a hate Marius returned with all his heart._

_The Matticaer's clothes – dark-brown leather breeches and a long tunic of the same color over a beige shirt with long sleeves – were torn and dirty and his face showed several dark bruises where his captors had beaten him, but Marius' opponent lifted his chin up with defiant pride just as if he was wearing silk and jewels like a king of an important kingdom._

_“He won't come! He is far too clever to walk right into your more than obvious trap!” his prisoner now hissed, his head banging against the wall as one of his guards smacked him hard across his face with his fist for his impudence. Blood trickled from the Teuton's lip where the heavy ring the legionary wore had ripped it open, but the young man didn't flinch, only turned his head to stare up at Marius again, licking the blood from his torn lip._

_The young tribunus had a hard time suppressing an annoyed growl, the sharp sting of unwelcome jealousy shooting through him blurring his vision and making him want to beat his prisoner himself. The proud and defiant young Teuton kneeling before him, trapped, bent but not broken was the one who had stolen the only one from him who had mattered to Marius, and he wouldn't give the Mattiacer the satisfaction of also taking his dignity and his self-control from him._

_“You might not know him as well as you thought you knew him, then,” Marius finally stated calmly after a couple of seconds of musing consideration when he had his voice back under control. “At least not as well as I know him. He will come and try to rescue you, don't you doubt that. Knowing that I captured you to make him come to me will only make him more determined.”_

_The Mattiacer snorted at that, but Marius could see some emotions flickering over his handsome features for the blink of an eye, doubt, worry and uncertainty. “I wouldn't count on that, Tribunus!” he finally snapped, letting Marius' title sound like an insult. The legionary who had slapped the Teuton growled and lifted his hand in a threatening gesture to beat him once more, but Marius shook his head. “Leave him be, honesty is nothing one should be beaten for. Truth to be told, I appreciate honesty even when it comes from a stinking Teuton.”_

_The guard lowered his hand again, but he shuffled closer to the prisoner, ready to punish him in case he so much as only thought of trying to escape._

_Marius pursed his lips, cocking his head to the side. “What's your name, Mattiacer?”_

_The young man narrowed his eyes, and Marius could see his jaw working. “Erik. My name is Erik, Tribunus Gordianus,” he growled after three or four seconds, shooting the guard already raising his hand a hateful and defiant, challenging glance._

_“Erik, I see. A quite honorable name.” Marius couldn't help but admire the young man for his courage when Erik snorted scornfully. “You don't want to tell me that you know the meaning of Teuton names, don't you, Roman?”_

_Marius smiled grimly at that. “Knowledge is a sharp and very useful weapon, Mattiacer, while ignorance is what will kill you in the end. Knowing your enemy is what will make you defeat them, and I have always preferred to study and get to know my enemies instead of making the mistake of underestimating them. That's why I know for sure that he will come and try to rescue you.”_

_Erik averted his eyes, swallowing hard. “You might once have known him, but you don't know him any longer at all. He is not the man he used to be anymore.”_

_Marius' face gave nothing away of what he thought or felt when he pushed himself away from the rough wall of the prison cell to leave his prisoner. “Marcus Retus is still a Roman, Mattiacer. He might have jumped ships, conspiring with your tribe in the misled wish to reconcile the Roman Empire with your traitorous kind, but he will always be a Roman and never become the Teuton you want him to be. You will never know him the way I know him, Erik the Mattiacer, no matter how long you will try to do so and learn everything about him. That's why our great emperor sent me here, because I am the one knowing Marcus Retus better than any other human being in this world.”_

_The young tribunus had just reached the door and stepped over the threshold when Erik's hissed words made him stop and freeze in place._

_“That might be the case, but that also means that he knows you better than any other human being in this world as well, Roman. Don't underestimate Legatus Marcus Retus, he might be your own downfall one day, Tribunus Gordianus!”_

_Marius unconsciously balled his fists, drawing in a deep and rather shaky breath before slowly turning his head to look over his shoulder. “That might be the case, Teuton. But if this should ever happen, then you won't be there to watch me fall, be sure about that.”_

_They stared at each other for one more moment, the Roman and the Teuton, who were both tied to one remarkable man with invisible chains, chains Marius had tried to get rid of over the past three years without ever being able to really cut the invisible and yet so strong bond that tied him to Marcus Retus ever since they had been young boys, the one Marius once would have died for without hesitating._

_“If I will ever fall because of Marcus Retus, Mattiacer, then you will be the one to fall before me, don't you ever forget that!” Marius said, eventually exiting the prison cell. The door closed behind him with a dull sound and Marius was alone again, alone with his anger and hate for a man he had once loved more than life itself: Marcus Retus, the former legatus and commander of Mogontiacum._

_Erik might think that Marcus wouldn't come to his rescue, but Marius knew Marcus better than Erik would ever know him, and he knew that Marcus would come. The tall Roman with the beautiful amber-green eyes had never left one of his men behind – no one except for Marius, that is – and Marius was sure that he would try to save his Teuton lover and offer himself as Marius' hostage instead. They might not have seen each other for three long years, but Marius still knew how Marcus worked._

_It was only a matter of time until the tall blond Roman would show up, and Marius would patiently wait for this to happen because he had learned to be patient a rather long time ago._

 

***

 

The fire blazing in the stony chimney was the only source of light illuminating Marius' private quarters one hour later, after finally giving up his fruitless tries to focus on the records he actually had to read. Marius hadn't bothered to light up the candles and torches attached to the wall because the gloomy atmosphere suited his own dark mood quite well, and apart from that, he wouldn't need much light for his talk with the one he was waiting for. The ghosts of his past had more power over him in the long hours of darkness, and Marius wanted them to haunt him on this special evening, because he wouldn't make the mistake of becoming weak and unsure when Marcus finally showed up in his former quarters.

Marius stood before the fireplace with his back to the door when the silent sound of someone opening it together with the soft breeze grazing over his naked arms announced that the waiting was over, but Marius didn't turn around to greet the newcomer and welcome him with a smile like he had done so many times when Marcus had sneaked his way into Marius' bedroom in Senator Gordianus' splendid villa in Rome.

“Good evening, Marcus. You're pretty late, I really thought that you would come earlier. Why did it take you so long? Have you forgotten the way here?”

The footsteps in his back faltered and then, the older man sighed. “You should have thought of that before you doubled the guards, Marius, I needed some time to come here without them noticing me.” Marcus' voice sounded slightly mocking, but there was also the hint of something else in it, the admiration one soldier felt for another, equally experienced and brave fighter.

Marius threw another stick into the fire. “I've learned from the best, something you should have thought of, Marcus. Besides, you could have just knocked on the front gate and asked to be brought to me, this would have been much easier and much faster.” The young tribunus slowly turned around to finally face the man he hadn't seen for three very long years.

Marcus Retus was still a breathtaking sight, Marius had to admit that, even though he wore the clothing of a Teuton instead of his Roman armor, his hair a little bit longer and ruffled and his cheeks hollow from the worries and grief he must have gone through lately. Worries and grief he was the only one being responsible for as Marius forcefully reminded himself of.

The older Roman shrugged his shoulders, the crooked grin that always made him look like a little rascal tugging at the corner of his mouth for a second. The lopsided smile that had once made Marius' pulse race and his cock harden with desire. It still affected Marius more than he would have liked it, and he forced his hands to stay unclenched instead of balling themselves into fists.

“I wasn't sure whether or not you had given them the order to kill me right away, and I didn't want to risk that before I had had the opportunity to talk to you, Marius, so I decided to come here unnoticed. You're looking good, by the way. Time has been friendly to you.”

Marius put his hands on his hips, his armor creaking as he did so, regarding the man standing before him. There were thin lines around his still so beautiful eyes and his sensitive mouth, but they only boosted the blond Roman's attractiveness, his male beauty and mysterious appearance. “I can't say the same about you, you look thin and exhausted,” the younger one stated at last as he looked up to meet Marcus' eyes. Marcus was taller but Marius had gained more muscles in the three years they hadn't seen each other, and he knew that they would be equals in close combat despite the height difference.

Marcus shrugged again. “The last weeks have been straining. You didn't order the guards to patrol before my... your quarters. I could have killed you.”

Marius smiled, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. “No, you could have not. You're not the one to stab an unarmed man in his back, Marcus – probably your biggest weakness. Besides, killing me wouldn't help you achieving what you want to achieve, and we both know that. You really should have knocked on the gate, Marcus. Where would be the point in me ordering my legionaries – your legionaries – to kill you?” He paused, licking over his suddenly dry lips as he forced his mouth to make one last offer to the man who had decided to betray his beloved Roman Empire. “It's not too late for you to come to your senses, Marcus. You can still come back and beg the emperor for his forgiveness.”

Marcus' face hardened. “No, I can't, Marius, and you know that as much as I do. Don't try to lure me into false security, it won't work. I came here to offer myself as your hostage in exchange for Erik. He isn't the one you want, you only trapped him to make me come to you. Tell me what you want from me and let him go. Germanicus can't risk another useless battle, he's already fighting at too many fronts. Germania isn't Syria, Judea or Egypt, it is even not like Gaul, don't make the same mistake Varus has made and underestimate the wrath of a Teuton tribe.”

“I won't do that, don't worry.” Marius walked over to the table to pour himself some wine. “Can I offer you something to drink, Marcus? You must be thirsty after the hours it took you to get here like a thief in the night.”

“No, thank you. All I want is you to tell me what you want from me in exchange for Erik's freedom.”

Marius lifted his cup up to his mouth to hide his feelings from Marcus' attentive eyes. “So worried about your Teuton lover, Marcus? He must be someone special, then. I have to admit that he is surprisingly handsome for a bloody Teuton. His puppy eyes and red lips can surely turn a proud Roman into a lovesick fool. It didn't take you long to forget me and what we once shared, did it? Just tell me, is he really as good at sucking your cock as I have always been? Does he make you scream when he wraps those full pink lips around your proud dick the way I made you scream when I went down on my knees for you? Is he as willing to let you fuck him through his moldy straw mat like you have always fucked me?”

The young tribunus felt a wave of grim contentment surge through him when the mask slipped from Marcus' face for the split of a second. “Erik is not my 'Teuton lover' as you put it, Marius. This is about peace and a better future for all of us – Romans and Teutons finding a way to live together without slaughtering each other, not about me having betrayed you with another lover!” the blond Roman growled, his eyes shining golden with anger, but his cheeks had colored red, a clear sign that Marcus was hiding something from him.

Marius considered him impassively, sipping from his wine now and then. “Is it really, Marcus? So why didn't you come with an entourage, officially knocking on the gate of the camp you left without looking back and wasting one single thought about the faithful and loyal men you left behind? Men who adored and admired you, ready to die for you, _Legatus_ Marcus Retus! Just look at yourself and your stinking Teuton clothes! Why didn't you come here in the daylight, wearing your Roman cuirass and asking for negotiations instead of sneaking into your former camp like a creature of the night, a thief or assassin? You don't fool me, Marcus, I know you far too well to believe you.  
You promised me to always love me when you left me behind in the burning sun of Syria to seek fame and glory, thinking you could achieve what none of all your predecessors had managed to do! You promised me to always be faithful and never forget what we had shared, but you forgot your promise the minute one of the barbarians you had once hated that much showed up, fluttering his long eyelashes at you! You might have forgotten what has once been between us, but I haven't forgotten your sweet promises and lies at all, Marcus Retus!” he snarled angrily, and only the sharp pain shooting through his palms made him realize that he had dug his short nails into them during his passionate speech. He hated it that he still wasn't over the older man, that Marcus still aroused feelings in him he only wanted to forget.

Marcus sighed again, his expression softening to a mixture of regret and wistfulness. “They haven't been lies, Dulcedo, I haven't forgotten what has been between us. But times have changed, we are both not the young and foolish men we used to be any longer.”

Marius let out a scornful laugh. “Your mouth still seems to be able to speak the truth now and then. You're right, times have changed, and we are enemies now instead of brothers in arms. You were the one burning all the bridges that had been left, and you are the one having to live with that, Marcus Retus. I can only hope for you that it will be worth it.” Marius stepped closer, invading Marcus' personal space and glaring up at him. “And don't you ever dare calling me 'Dulcedo' again! You have lost the right to do so when you rode out of the front gate of your camp, leaving your legions behind to conspire with the enemy. You're not a Roman legatus any longer, and I outrank you! You will call me Tribunus Gordianus like any other damn Teuton, understood?”

Marcus pressed his lips to a thin line, his face hardening to a stony mask. “Understood, _Tribunus_ Gordianus!” he ground out, his voice flat and emotionless. “I'm here for you to do with me whatever you want to do to take revenge for me leaving you in Syria, but don't use Erik against me! He has nothing to do with that!”

“Oh, I have to disagree with you, Marcus. He has everything to do with that because after all, he is the reason for your betrayal not only on me, but also on the entire Roman Empire.” Marius circled the taller Roman standing motionless in the middle of his quarters. “Just tell me, Marcus, what price would you be willing to pay for your Teuton lover's freedom? How far are you willing to go to save him?”

He stopped in front of the man who had once meant everything to him, staring in the amber-green depths. Marcus returned his gaze proud and defiant, holding his ground and not willing to back away.

“I will do everything you want me to do to make you give Erik his freedom back, I already told you before, Marius,” he hissed, not flinching when the loud noise of Marius slapping his face echoed in the hot air of his own former quarters, the quarters where the blond Roman had lived for almost three years.

“Dare calling me Marius again and I will have your balls instead of simply slapping you again. You won't get Erik's freedom with impudence,” Marius stated, resisting the urge to rub his stinging palm.

Marcus snorted, his arms still hanging loosely down at each side of his body. “Just go ahead and beat me if it makes you feel better. But, that's not what you really want from me, _Tribunus_ Gordianus, is it?” he challenged the younger Roman, and Marius folded his arms across his chest, baring his lips to a dangerous smile.

“You're right, Marcus, that's not what I want from you. All I want is you and the memories of what has once been between us not haunting me any longer, to forget you and your betrayal, but this will never happen, I guess, so I will end this the only way I can really end it and cut our bond for good. You must truly love him deeply if you're willing to do that for him.” Marius hated it that his voice sounded so hoarse and hurt, and the thought of doing what Marcus wanted him to do disgusted him, but it seemed to be the only way to finally break the invisible chains that still tied them together, to eventually cut the bond of love, desire, agonizing pain and hate that still existed between them.

Marcus' eyes shone in the light of the fire as he slowly started to undress, his gaze never leaving the younger man's face. “Just do what you have to do, Tribunus Gordianus. I won't fight against you,” he said when he was naked, his voice calm and controlled and his pale skin with the tattoos on his left forearm shimmering like precious ivory.

Marius' face showed the unreadable expression of a life-less marble statue when he reached out to grab a fistful of tousled red-golden hair and press the older man down. “On your knees, _Roman_!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Fulgur' is the Latin word for lightning  
> 'Dulcedo' is Latin and can mean 'sweets', 'grace' and 'lust', in this case, it is used as a petname  
> 'Cuirass' is the special term for the Roman armor, lovely mariothellama was so kind to help me with the correct names. :-)


	2. The Truth is hard to Bear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marius has ordered Marcus on his knees. Will his former lover fight against him or will he do what Marius wants him to do in order to save Erik?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end of this story is already written, but chapter two turned out to become different from what I had first planned, so I decided to make three chapters out of it. I hope that I was able to show the complexity of Marius' and Marcus' complicated relationship so far, and that this is not simply about Marius forcing himself upon Marcus.
> 
> I want to thank all of you who are willing to give this story a try, please remember that this is settled in the ancient world and the Roman culture, the Roman way of thinking, moral standards and ethics were different from our moral standards nowadays. Please share your thoughts with me and leave feedback for me, your support is what keeps me writing for you in the first place.

Marcus never broke eye contact with him when he dropped down on his knees and pulled Marius' underwear down to take him in his mouth, not fighting against Marius who kept his head in place as he started to fuck his mouth and his throat in a hard and fast pace.

His armor creaked and jingled in the rhythm of his thrusts, a strange and unnerving music that seemed to come straight out of the dark underworld. Marius had still been fully dressed with his cuirass and his plate-legs when Marcus had shown up, his armor making him feel less vulnerable by the thought of finally seeing his childhood friend and first love again after three very long and very lonely years. The sounds distracted and annoyed him, but Marius wasn't willing to give Marcus the satisfaction of pulling back to undress and give the former legatus time to think and come up with something that would change Marius' mind about this.

Marcus owed him for what he had done, and Marius was determined to let the older Roman pay the price for his deeds this time. He wouldn't let him go away with what he had done, not this time.

The young tribunus did his best to become deaf to the clinking and creaking sounds of his armor, staring down at Marcus kneeling on the hard floor before him in all his naked glory. The older man clenched his hands around the hem of Marius' tunic under the breastplate to keep the red garment out of the way, and Marius could see that there were more tattoos than he remembered, some of them looking rather fresh, the skin around the colorful and black lines still red from the procedure. New fury welled up in Marius' abdomen, hot anger about the visible proof that Marcus had indeed been willing to turn his back on Marius and the Roman Empire he had once sworn to love and protect at all costs.

Marius felt betrayed and furious, baring his teeth to a low growl of ire and lust as he watched himself fucking the blond's mouth, Marcus' lips obscenely stretched around his rock-hard dick. Marius knew that he shouldn't feel arousal and lust by this sight, that he shouldn't draw pleasure out of humiliating the man he had once loved more than anything. He shouldn't be that hard, desire burning in every cell of his body because of the anger he felt, but he couldn't deny the truth that Marcus' unwilling submission turned him on any longer, no matter how hard this truth was to bear.

Marius hadn't known about this dark side hidden deep inside him, or maybe he had known about it all along but had chosen to ignore it, Marius couldn't tell for sure. A dark side that was most likely hidden deep inside every human being, one only needed to be pushed enough for this dark side to finally rise to the surface and raise its ugly head. Marcus' treason against Marius' beloved Rome after he had left him three years ago had been the last push Marius' dark side had needed to come out of the deepest depths of his soul, to take over control and finally take revenge for all the hurt and grief Marcus had caused.

The young tribunus pulled roughly at the older one's hair, forcing him to open his mouth wider and swallow his throbbing cock deeper. Marcus didn't object, only gagged slightly before he was able to relax his throat for the next hard thrust again, his amber-green eyes never leaving Marius' face.

The brown-haired tribunus knew that he wouldn't last long, it had been too long since he had last felt Marcus' skilled mouth on his aching arousal, the clever tongue swirling around the leaking tip just like Marius remembered it so clearly. The vivid memories of Marcus worshiping his proud sword with his mouth while whispering tender words of love against his hot flesh could never be a proper substitute for the real thing when Marius lay awake and alone in his cold bed at night, jerking himself off with stinging but dry eyes and the horrible ache in his chest where once his heart had been.

Marius actually also didn't want this to last long, there were other things he wanted from Marcus tonight, and he picked up the pace as he chased his release, desire and lust intermingling with the fury and anger he felt burning in his veins like blazing fire.

Marcus tightened his grip around Marius' tunic by the relentless pummeling, and his gaze darkened with something that could only be anger and fury as well, because the former legatus certainly couldn't really enjoy what Marius was doing to him, probably wishing that it was the damn Mattiacer using his mouth like this. The image of the proud and handsome Teuton fucking Marcus' mouth like that sent Marius over the edge with the next deep thrust, and his vision blurred with the sensation of his climax surging through him in painful waves. His hips jerked forward as his cock pulsed with the fast jets he shot down the other Roman's throat, and Marius' fist clenched hard around the soft red-golden strands the young tribunus was clinging to.

Time stood still for a precious moment until the intense pleasure finally ebbed away and Marius tried to catch his breath, blinking to clear his vision after his forceful orgasm and watch Marcus licking his still half-hard cock clean with those amber-green eyes still fixed on his face. Marius stared back, wishing so badly that things were different between them, that there was still love between them instead of hate and treason that his breath hitched in his throat. Marcus' eyes softened as if he sensed Marius' inner battle, as though he was even sharing his feelings but soon, the moment of silent understanding was gone, and Marius' anger came back when Marcus' face turned impassive and mocking again.

 

***

 

Marius swallowed and pushed him away, jerking his head in the direction of the bed. “On your bed, _legatus_ , on all forth!” he snarled, his husky voice betraying his feelings. Marcus stared up at him, licking over his swollen and bruised lips, his chin glistening with the drops of his own salvia and Marius' seed. He rose to his feet, slowly and as elegantly as if he had lain on a recliner dressed with the splendid toga that showed his high rank, enjoying an opulent dinner with the emperor himself, and Marius could only admire his former friend and lover for his composure and his dignity.

Marcus stalked over to the bed that had once been his bed and was now Marius' bed, kneeling on it with his backside hovering over the edge like Marius had told him to do. The younger Roman could catch a glimpse of the puckered rosebud that was hidden between the perfectly round cheeks, and the sight made him hard again, the prospect of sheathing his weapon deep inside Marcus' trembling and naked body arousing his desire again.

The blond Roman with the golden eyes had always been like a fever in Marius' blood, and Marius' youth together with the force of his overwhelming emotions, the shadow of the deep love that had turned into hot ire and hate together with his desire and his wish to let Marcus suffer as much as he himself had suffered ever since the older man had left him shortening the time he needed to recover after his first climax.

Marcus threw a glance over his shoulder when Marius didn't move, just stared at him with his manhood tenting his tunic under the armor, a mocking smile ghosting around his abused lips.

“Are you going to fuck me, Tribunus Gordianus, or do you want to just watch me for the rest of the night? Maybe, you'll need some more time to recover from the effort of fucking my mouth that skillfully and thoroughly?”

Marius knew what Marcus was trying to do, and he wouldn't give him the satisfaction of losing his self-control like this and just mount him. The blond legatus might have found another lover, but he still desired Marius at least a little bit, because his own cock was bouncing hard and ready to shoot between his thighs as Marcus now shifted his weight, Marius fucking his mouth had clearly aroused him enough to make the tip of his long and thick member glisten with milky pleasure.

“So eager to feel my sword impaling you, aren't you, Marcus?” the young tribunus sneered as he pulled himself together and walked over to the shelf where he kept the thick oil he used to keep the leather of his armor smooth and flexible. “Does your Teuton lover not satisfy you properly? Does he not know how to make good use of his own small and useless spear?” he sneered, ignoring the sharp sting of regret and shame cutting through his stomach when he saw Marcus paling.

“Erik is not my lover, I already told you that. Can we please leave him out of this?” Marcus asked in a flat voice after two or three seconds had passed. His face was impassive, but Marius could see that his words had had the desired effect, hurting the man he had once loved that much.

The blond's desired hadn't faded though, if anything, his cock was even harder than before, and Marius slicked his fingers up with the oil to stand behind him and push two digits between his buttocks. "No, we can't leave him out of this. After all, he is the reason for your treason and you being here, willing to let me have my way with you to save him from my wrath!" the brown-haired Roman snarled as he pushed into Marcus' tight entrance without giving him time to relax.

Marcus drew the air through his gritted teeth, but he didn't try to pull away from the rather harsh intrusion, only stiffened for a brief moment as he struggled to adjust and relax his muscles. Marius stared at the smooth flesh of Marcus' back, curling his left hand around the narrow hip to not give in to the strong urge and caress the thin lines the scars of former battles had left on the shimmering skin, lines that were the visible proof that Marcus was as much a brave soldier like Marius himself was. Marcus had always covered his back when they had fought together side by side, protecting and shielding the younger man without ever being considerate of his own life.

Marius swallowed hard, waiting patiently until Marcus relaxed underneath him with a grunt before he started to stretch the older man and open him up. He might be angry and craving for revenge, but he had seen the horrible damage other soldiers had done to the women, children and men they had raped in their thirst for blood, leaving a wake of devastation and death behind them, and Marius simply couldn't do that to Marcus, no matter how much he hated him for what Marcus had done to him when he had carelessly broken his heart, shattered it into a million sharp pieces that could never become whole again.

Instead, he moved his fingers back and forth in a steady rhythm, adding the third one only when he didn't meet any resistance any longer, enjoying the grunts and groans he pulled from the older Roman with his preparation far more than he should. Marius still knew his former lover well enough to find his sweet spot with ease, and he smiled with grim satisfaction when Marcus cried out and involuntarily pushed back against him when he curled his fingertips into this small bundle of nerves that would grant him that Marcus wouldn't endure their coupling unmoved but feel pleasure even though he probably didn't want to feel anything else but anger and hate. Their groans and gasps were the only sounds audible except for the creaking of Marius' armor, and Marius had to bite onto his lip to keep the words inside that wanted to flee his throat, words of hurt and anger, but also words of desire and the love that had been between them before Marcus had turned it into hate.

“What are you waiting for, Tribunus Gordianus? Why this consideration of my feelings all of sudden? Just take me, will you?” Marcus finally snarled impatiently, challenging him again, and Marius growled deep in his throat and pulled his fingers out to line his throbbing cock up and push it deep into Marcus' tight heat with one single, forceful thrust.

“Your wish is my command, _legatus_!” he hissed, digging his nails into Marcus' hipbones. The blond groaned with the sharp sting, but he pushed back to meet Marius' thrusts and spread his bent legs wider to give Marius better access to his secret core. The young tribunus looked down at the round cheeks, at his hard member disappearing between them as he shoved himself into the other Roman again and again, wishing that this would not be an act of revenge but an act of love so badly. His face showed nothing of his inner turmoil though, only the lust their passionate and almost violent coupling aroused in him, and he pressed his flat palm against Marcus' back to push him down and change the angle.

The former legatus let out a sharp cry when Marius hit his sweet spot for the first time with the tip of his rock-hard manhood, balling his fists on the mattress and burying his face between his forearms. Marius kept battering this sensitive knob deep inside Marcus again and again, his face settled into the mask of the relentless and grim warrior he was on the battlefield as he started to pound the blond into the mattress. Marcus had always been sensitive to this kind of stimulation, and Marius had already gotten his fill, he knew for sure that he would last longer than the older man, craving to see Marcus lose his iron self-control and give him the satisfaction that Marius was still the one who could make him come untouched easily this way.

“Tell me, is he as good at that as I am? Can your Teuton lover make you come like this just with his fat cock buried deep inside you? Can he make you feel the same way I have always made you feel, Marcus Retus? Does he love you as much as I have loved you before you threw me away like garbage?”

Marius didn't recognize his own voice, and he hated himself for what he did and said, but the words spilled from his lips, and he couldn't have held them back even if his life had depended on it.

Marcus howled, a desperate and wounded sound muffled only by his left arm, the arm covered with the visible evidence that the former faithful and high-ranking officer of the Roman Empire had found a new home and someone worthier to be loved than Marius as the Roman enemy he now was for Marcus.

Marius growled, averting his eyes from the offending sight of the fresh tattoos to look at his own hands gripping Marcus' hips instead. The older man shook underneath him, poised at the brink of his orgasm, his inner walls cramping frantically around Marius' cock stretching and impaling him. The blond Roman was so close to lose himself in the throes of passion, but he still fought against his own lust, the lust his former Roman lover made him feel instead of his new, Teuton lover. Lust that wasn't welcome anymore because it was the wrong man who aroused this lust in Marcus.

Marius dug his nails deeper into Marcus' flesh, his only craving to let him feel the same agonizing pain that tore him himself apart every single day. “Tell me, Roman, does your Teuton fuck you as good as I do? Does he make you scream with his thrusts like I have always done?”

The loud mewl echoing in the air when Marcus lost his battle and came hard, spurting his overwhelming ecstasy all over the blanket should have satisfied Marius, but he felt strangely impassive as he watched the creamy-white stripes of Marcus' hot release coating the gray wool, his hips stilling in their pounding when Marcus' orgasm pulled his own second climax from him. Marius shuddered one single time, filling the blond with his claim and when it was over, he pulled out of the swollen and deep-red hole to stumble over to the corner with the chamber pot.

Marius fell down on his knees before the pot to grab it with both hands, dry heaves wrecking him as he sacrificed the wine he had drunk to every Roman and Teuton god he knew.


	3. The Promises we've Made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marius has forced Marcus to serve him in Marcus' former bed. What will happen afterwards? Will Marcus now hate him forever?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, the final chapter. It was already written, but I decided to add an epilogue with Marcus' POV. It will be up to you to decide if this epilogue will be an at least partly consoling end or make things even more painful, it's a mixture of both, I guess.
> 
> As I said at the beginning, I chose to not write much about the happenings in Syria which led to their breakup and the situation Marius and Marcus now find themselves in, but here are some things for the better understanding:
> 
> The Roman culture was very different from our modern culture in Europe, and even though one can get the impression that the Romans were much more open to sexual variety than the Christian culture has been in the Middle Ages for example, but relationships between two male Roman citizens were actually forbidden, even more when they were high-ranking officers or aristocrats. 
> 
> Roman men could have sex with slaves of both genders without having to face punishment, but they couldn't openly be together in a love-relationship, something I chose to 'ignore' in my stories 'Never Gonna Give You Up', 'The Slave' and 'Unbreak My Heart'. I scratch this topic in Germania, where Robertus is fighting against his feelings because of that, and this topic is more or less the 'ground' this story is based upon.
> 
> Of course, Roman soldiers sought warmth, forgetting and tension release in each others arms when there were no women available as much as it happens and has happend in every army we know, and this was more or less tolerated, but two Roman officers openly in love was an absolute no-go. 
> 
> There is only little known about this topic among the different Teuton tribes, but considering how precious and crucial children were for the survival of the tribe, it was surely wished that grown-up men found a wife and had children even if they preferred their own gender.
> 
> I hope that you won't hate my Marius too much and maybe find some understanding and forgiveness in your hearts for him, but stories like this have always happend and will happen in real life, and I found it important to for once write such a story.
> 
> A million thank you to all of you who bore with me and left wonderful kudos and comments, maybe, I will come back to these two one day, it will depend on what you want, I guess. It would be very important to me if you left feedback especially under this chapter for me again, so please press the kudos-button and write a comment for me!

Warm fingers stroking softly over his nape finally pulled Marius out of his dazed state, and he slowly turned his head to look at the naked man kneeling beside him, regarding him with attentive eyes. Marcus said nothing, only offered him the cup he held in his hand, and Marius took it gratefully to rinse his mouth with the clear water the older Roman had brought him, eager to get rid of the bad taste his retching had left.

The look in the amber-green depths gazing intently at him warned him to not break their cautious truce with scornful words, to not ask whether or not Marcus drew pleasure out of his pain and the disgrace Marius had brought upon himself when he had lost the contents of his stomach right after raping his former lover, and Marius only spat the water into the chamber pot and murmured a hoarse “thank you” instead of deepening the divide between them more than it already was with the mocking remark that wanted to escape his sore throat.

Marcus just kept looking at him, and Marius could never tell for sure later on who of them had leaned in first for a gentle and almost shy kiss. Marius' eyes fell shut when Marcus' soft and warm lips touched his own for the first time after three long years, and he hesitated and tried to pull away, the thought of how he must smell and taste after his vomiting just a couple of minutes ago embarrassing him. Marcus' hand on his neck kept him from doing so and when the older man licked with the tip of his tongue over his closed lips, Marius opened them for him without further hesitation and wrapped his arms around the taller man.

The blond let out a small groan of pain when the metal of Marius' cuirass scratched over his bare skin, but he tightened his grip around Marius' neck and pulled him even closer, his shoulders shivering under Marius' naked arms. Marcus didn't seem to care about the fact that Marius had just thrown up, and Marius eventually lost his shyness and kissed Marcus back with all the passion he still felt for the older Roman, forgetting his hate and Marcus' betrayal for some merciful minutes as their tongues fought a tender battle neither of them really wanted to win.

The hard floor they were kneeling upon brought them back to reality soon enough and Marcus drew back from his tingling lips, considering Marius with those thoughtful gaze once more. “I wished you would understand me, Marius, I really wished you could see the truth,” Marcus whispered, his voice hoarse with regret and the yearning for what they had once shared and this time, Marius gratefully accepted Marcus calling him by his birth-name without trying to slap him for his impudence. Marcus as the older one had always been his role model, his adored idol, and Marius' only striving when he had been a young boy had been to become like his admired and beloved idol, the young man who couldn't do anything wrong in Marius' naive and childish opinion.

“What kind of truth, Marcus? Yours? The truth of your new Teuton lover?” he asked, and he flinched by the bitterness that was audible in his from his vomiting raw voice.

“Erik is not my lover, Dulcedo. If you refuse to believe anything else I've said or will say, then please believe at least that.”

Marius closed his eyes for a moment, balling his fists and swallowing down the bitter bile that threatened to rise in his throat by the petname he had once loved to hear that much. “Why are you willing to let me rape you if you don't love him, Marcus?” he finally whispered, opening his eyes again to search for the answer in Marcus' face.

Marcus' eyes traveled thoughtfully over his features, and he reached out with the hand that had held the cup to stroke Marius' cold cheek. “Will you let him go, Marius?” he asked, and Marius swallowed again, barking a short laugh. “I owe you that much after what I have done to you, don't I? Yes, I will let him go, tomorrow in the morning, you have my word on that, Marcus.”

Marius didn't know what kind of reaction he had expected coming from his former lover, maybe satisfaction about his win showing on his despite his grief and exhaustion still so beautiful features, but the blond only regarded him with this strange musing and wistful expression.

After a few more seconds of heavy silence, Marcus finally sighed. “Come on, you must lie down, Marius,” he said, starting to unfasten the younger one's armor. Marius let him do it without objection, rising to his feet to let Marcus undress him. The blond legatus folded his tunic to lay it over the backrest of the chair beside the bed and when he turned around, presenting his backside to Marius to crawl back onto the bed, the brown-haired tribunus had to suppress another dry retch when he saw the thin red lines his armor had left on Marcus' butt cheeks and his thighs.

Marcus looked over his shoulder, his gaze darkening when he saw where Marius was staring at. “It's okay, Marius, we have done it still wearing our armors and leaving scratches countless times before. It's nothing I couldn't take. Besides, it's too late to worry over that now, isn't it?”

Marius straightened his shoulders and raised his chin to meet Marcus' eyes. “You're right, Marcus, it is far too late for that.”

 

***

 

The golden shine of the fire flickered over the two naked young men moving rhythmically on the bed that creaked silently in time to their moves, the cheerful crackling of the burning wood in the fireplace almost drowning out the creaking of the bed and the soft grunts and groans Marius and Marcus made as they pushed their hips against each other with unrestrained passion and wanton abandon.

They had lain on the bed without touching for a while, staring at the white ceiling, both of them lost in their dark thoughts, but soon they had turned to face one another at the same time, passion exploding between them as they looked each other in the eyes.

Marcus had let out a snarl and pulled Marius in for another fierce kiss, and Marius had growled and pressed the blond down on the mattress, not willing to let the traitorous legatus gain the upper hand.

The older man had smiled up at him with gentle mockery, pulling roughly at his short brown hair. “Don't worry, tribunus, you are the one in charge here, the one setting up the rules, do with me as it pleases you, I am all yours tonight.”

Marius hadn't been prepared for the sharp pain cutting right through his stupid heart, a heart that was already shattered and shouldn't feel anything at all anymore. But it still did, beating hard and fast in his aching chest, and all Marius had been able to do to distract himself from the unbearable pain was kissing Marcus with furious ardor and forcing his knee between his legs.

The blond Roman had opened them willingly for him, spreading them wide and lifting his back from the mattress to make it easier for Marius as he had pushed into him again. Marcus must still be tender and sore from the first time Marius had taken him, but he was as ardent and impatient to do it again as Marius was, meeting each and every thrust with savage lust and desire burning in his beautiful eyes.

Their groans and gasps became louder as they chased their release, release from both, the physical ache of the overwhelming desire clouding their minds as much as they sought release from the ache in their hearts, from the grief over what they had lost and the yearning for something they could never have again.

Damp skin slapped against wet skin and their lips were connected like their bodies were, tongues exploring soft caverns to conquer and claim anew what had been theirs without any doubts such a long time ago. It had been only three years since Marcus had left him but for Marius, it felt as if it had been in another life, more than an eternity ago, and he could see in the amber-green depths staring up at him, blown dark with arousal and lust, that Marcus felt the same way he himself did in this special moment.

Marius bent down to kiss him again, and his thrusts became tender and slow against his will, his wish to make this last time an act of love and desire instead of anger and hate too strong to fight against it. The young tribunus was so tired of fighting, so tired of his life consisting only of hate and grief instead of love and joy that he could hardly stand it without screaming loud in agony.

Instead, he muffled the cry that wanted to flee his lips with another deep kiss, one hand cupping Marcus' face to stroke the hollow cheek with the soft, blond stubble while the other hand found its way between their sweat-slick bodies to wrap itself around Marcus' aroused manhood and stroke it in time to his moves.

The older man melted against him, wrapping his arms and his legs around Marius' with arousal flushed body, returning the ardent kiss as though he had never left Marius, never broken his heart, as if he still loved him with the same force Marius still loved him.

Marius let himself be carried away by the feeling of warmth and love surrounding him after the long years of loneliness and pain that had been his constant companions, and his strangled scream of satisfaction and ecstasy was an echo of Marcus' hoarse moan as they came together and the pleasure washed away the pain and grief for a short, peaceful moment.

Both – the grief and the pain - would return soon again enough, together with the hate and the fury, Marius knew that, but in these precious minutes as they savored their shared pleasure and the blissful afterglow in each other's arms, the young tribunus finally felt whole again for the first time ever since Marcus had walked out of his life, leaving him alone and stripped of everything.

For a far too short but wonderful moment, there was only love between them, and when Marcus whispered “my Dulcedo!” against his mouth, Marius smiled and kissed him tenderly.

 

***

 

Marius watched impassively Marcus dressing again, not bothering to cover his own naked body with the crumpled blanket. There were no words left between them, and Marius didn't expect Marcus to talk to him again when the blond Roman fastened the belt around his slim waist, the hated Teuton clothes he now wore a mocking offense for Marius' tired eyes.

“Will you keep your promise and set Erik free, Tribunus Gordianus?”

Marcus' voice was soft and filled with regret over what had happened between them so long ago, when he had left a much younger and desperate Marius behind and walked out of his life without looking back.

“I gave you my word, Marcus,” Marius countered hoarsely, too exhausted to act on Marcus calling him by his title and surname instead of the much more intimate birth-name after what they had just shared again. “I have never broken the promises I gave you, and the word of a Roman officer should still mean something to you.”

Marcus hesitated. “It does, Marius,” he finally said, Marius' birth-name spoken with the tenderness of years of love long gone now. “Not the word of any Roman officer, but your word still does mean something to me. But you will get into trouble setting him free.”

Marius snorted to hide his despair and his gratitude that Marcus still cared enough about him to worry about his well-being. “This is none of your business, Marcus. I will set him free tomorrow at dawn. But remember that I will continue to hunt you, and that I won't rest until I have captured you, Marcus Retus. The next time we'll meet, I will kill you.”

“I know, Marius.” Marcus nodded silently, walking over to the door. Marius expected him to just leave, but the older man paused again, his fingers hovering over the door handle, turning his head to look at Marius one last time.

“I am sorry, Marius, I really am. I never wanted to hurt you the way I obviously did. Back then, I really thought that me leaving you was the best for both of us – for you most of all - and I never betrayed you, even though me telling you that is probably pointless, because you won't believe me anyway.”

Marius swallowed. “From your point of you, you probably didn't,” he sighed, biting down on his lip. “Will you tell Erik what you had to do to gain his freedom, Marcus?” he asked, hating that his voice trembled that much.

Marcus slowly shook his head. “No, I won't, Marius. He doesn't need to know. I told you the truth when I said that Erik isn't my lover. We have never slept with each other. There has never been anybody else than you in my bed ever since I left Syria. I had promised you to always be faithful to you and never cheat on you with another man when you gave yourself to me for the first time, and I have always kept this promise.”

Marius hadn't wanted to believe Marcus, he had justified his hate and anger - his own horrible deed - with the fact that Marcus had betrayed him, cheated on him with one of those damn Teutons, but as he now looked into Marcus' amber-green eyes, he couldn't deny the truth any longer, the truth that Marcus had always been faithful and that he had never betrayed him – at least not the way Marius had thought that Marcus had betrayed him, and he was grateful for the numbness the shock about Marcus' revelation covered his feelings with. The pain would come back, Marius knew that, pain that would be mixed with self-hatred, but the numbness helped him to keep his composure and not break down in front of the other man.

“But you love him,” he finally said, and after two or three seconds, Marcus nodded very slowly. “Yes, I do, Marius.”

“I see. You'll better go now, Marcus Retus. And don't even think of trying to come back. I meant what I said. The next time we'll meet like this, I will kill you.”

Marcus gifted him with his crooked smile, a sad, melancholy and wistful copy of his usual cheerful one. “Goodbye, Marius, I hope for you that you will never have to either fulfill or break your promise. Some promises better stay untouched – Dulcedo.”

The door closed as silently behind the blond Roman as it had opened a couple of hours ago, and Marius stared at the dark wood with blind eyes for a very long time as the truth of what he had done and what he had lost because he had destroyed it himself slowly sank in.

“Why did you leave me, Mars? Why was my love not enough for you?” His brokenly whispered words wafted through the sticky air of his quarters, but the only one who could have answered his desperate plea was long gone, having left him alone for a second time.

Marius Gordianus kept staring at the closed door with dry and burning eyes until the morning dawned, ignoring the ache in his tired bones as he got out of bed to wash and dress his armor again, the armor of the proud Roman officer he was.

He was Tribunus Marius Gordianus, a faithful soldier of the Roman Empire, and he had a job to do, Marius reminded himself even though every move costed him all of his strength and will power on this gray and cold morning in the most northern province of his beloved Rome. His legionaries counted on him to not betray their trust like their former commander had done it, and Marius wouldn't let them down, and if it was the last thing he did in this world.

The young tribunus straightened his shoulders and left the room that still smelled of Marcus and the things that had happened between them, his face controlled and unreadable again.

Tomorrow would be another day and one day in the future, the ghosts of the past wouldn't haunt him any longer. One day, his heart wouldn't hurt by the memory of Marcus Retus any longer. One day, the memories would fade and the painful truth become bearable and a pale memory itself.

One day, Marius would be able to forget, he only needed to be patient.

 

***

 

_Epilogue:_

_Marcus Retus, the former commander of Mogontiacum, watched the two young men emerging from the small slit the halfway opened side gate had left, one dressed with the clothes of a Teuton warrior, the other one with the iron armor of a proud Roman soldier. They didn't speak, only stared at each other for a moment, and Marcus' heart ached when he saw the two men he loved talking to each other with their eyes only before the taller one turned around to disappear in the dark shadows of the early morning, heading in the direction of Marcus' hiding place behind the thick bushes near the fortified Roman camp._

_Tribunus Marius Gordianus turned his head, and Marcus held his breath as his childhood friend and former lover looked directly at the bush where he was crouching behind the branches and leaves, just as though he could see Marcus or at least feel his presence._

_Marcus stared back, his feelings making it hard for him to breathe, and he angrily wiped his eyes when Marius finally shook his head and closed the gate behind him, the thick walls of the camp separating Marius from him as if there was an endless ocean between them._

_Erik suddenly standing beside him and looking down at him made him rise to his feet and jerking his head in the direction where he had come from the previous evening._

_Erik nodded and followed him quietly, not breaking the silence of the dark-gray morning until they had brought enough distance between the camp and themselves._

_When they reached the edge of the settlement, Erik stopped and turned his face to look at him. “I wouldn't have thought that he would actually let me go.”_

_Marcus didn't blink as his gaze fell on the bruises on the young Mattiacer's face, the cut on his smooth lip. “He promised me, Erik.” He smiled melancholy when he remembered the last promise Marius had made. “Marius has never broken the promises he made, nor will he ever do that.”_

_Erik snorted annoyed, but it sounded more resigned and helpless than truly angry. “Neither would you, Marcus. He should know that if he really knew you as well as he claimed to know you.”_

_Marcus' face softened. “I made him believe that I broke mine, don't blame him for what I've done on purpose.”_

_The young Teuton regarded him for a long moment. “He let you pay for that, Marcus, you don't owe him any longer. Why let you do him what he did to you?”_

_It didn't surprise the blond Roman that Erik knew about last night, his Teuton friend sometimes seemed to have a sixth sense or be able to read minds. His feelings must have shown on his face much more clearly than he had hoped they would, and Marcus finally averted his eyes from Erik's scrutinizing observation, staring at the houses visible in the distance. “It was the only way to make him letting you go.”_

_“That's not the only reason.” Erik's calm words weren't a question._

_Marcus allowed his shoulders to slump. “It was the only way to set him free, to make him cut the bond between us. It had to be this way, nothing else would have worked, you know that, Erik.”_

_He couldn't see Erik's face, but the soft breeze grazing his cheek told him that his friend shook his head in despair. “There must have been another way.”_

_“No.”_

_Silence stretched between them before Erik sighed in defeat. “Does he know how much you still love him, Marcus? How much you have always loved him? Does he know that there will never be anybody else for you?”_

_Marcus shook his head with a sad smile. “No, he doesn't. How could he have cut our bond if he knew? Believe me, it's better that he doesn't know. It's the best for him.”_

_“But he is still tied to you, he hates you as much as he has once loved you, and hate ties people together as much as love does.”_

_Marcus looked at Erik again. “Yes, I know, but he will finally get over it when he thinks that I betrayed his beloved Roman Empire and that I am lost for it forever. Rome has always been his first love, Erik. I couldn't make him having to choose between Rome and me. I simply couldn't do that to him. Marius is a Roman soldier through and through, he would lose himself if this was taken away from him.”_

_“Everything you've done was always only what you thought he would want and need, was always meant to protect him and do what's best for him, wasn't it?” Erik asked quietly._

_Marcus nodded, looking in the direction of his new home again. “Yes, it was. I promised him to always protect him and that his needs would always come first for me. If this means that I have to protect him from me and from himself as well, then so be it. If I have to lie to him to keep my promise, then so be it as well.”_

_Erik shot him a sidelong glance. “You made him believe that we are lovers?”_

_Marcus chuckled, but it wasn't a cheerful sound. “No, I didn't. He thought that I had cheated on him with you, but I did tell him the truth, that you are not my lover and that I've always been faithful to him. But he asked me if I loved you, and I said yes, because I do love you, Erik – like the brother I have never had.”_

_Erik touched his arm. “Yes, I know, Marcus. It's the same for me.” For a while they stood arm in arm, watching the settlement slowly wake up in companionable silence. Marcus knew that the young Mattiacer understood him without Marcus having to explain himself to him, they were true brothers, not by blood but by heart and mind._

_The sun slowly rose in the sky, chasing the dark shadows away, and Erik turned his head and smiled at Marcus. “Tribunus Gordianus is a good man, Marcus. I didn't think that I would ever say that about any other Roman than you, but he truly is.”_

_Marcus returned the smile and straightened his shoulders. “Yes, Erik, he is. Come on, let us go home. Our people are waiting for us.”_

_Erik nodded, pulling Marcus with him. “Yes, my friend, let us go home.”_

 

_The End_

 


End file.
